This is going to be one sad post. Six days from now, I am going to be alone. Alone meaning having breakfast solo, waiting for the ride without someone saying take care, no after lunch calls, no "hny i'm going home" texts. He is definitely leaving and I just can't help but feel empty. I thought I have mastered the art of saying goodbye, but this time sadness is magnified a hundred times. Call me mushy and over reacting, but for someone who has always been the one saying goodbye, holding back the tears would be one tough act.

I'll be experiencing the pain of being the one left behind and as much as I want to spare myself from being hurt, there's no avoiding it. Just like when my lolo left us two years ago, I was totally devastated and for some time I was in denial. Until now I haven't been able to overcome the sadness that I feel whenever I think of him, more so because it's a permanent farewell. And this one isn't. So, why the fuss?

Because for five long years Dô and I have been together. We've hurdled our college years together, punctuated only by nights ands weekends when I have to go home in the province. After college, we worked in the same office for some time, before pursuing different career paths; he worked for the government, while I remained loyal to the academe. He didn't allow me to stay in the dormitory, it's better if I live nearby he said, a few strides from their house, so he can watch over me. I agreed with the idea and that has been the set up for three years now. We get to eat breakfast and dinner together, wathc movies, play badminton, visit Chinatown every now and then, go food tripping, every little thing that makes up my present life, I spend with him. He takes care of me whenever I'm sick, he comforts me when I'm sad, he hushes my fears and insecurities away. He has just always been there for me, beside me, my very best friend whom I love and care for deeply.

And so with that I hope my crying would be justified.(TT)

Hny, you told me you're not that excited on this trip compared to last year's travel to Korea because I won't be coming with you, but I want you to be excited. I am. I'll be eagerly waiting for your stories of Jamaica and Canada and your stop-overs to Hong Kong and Los Angeles. And I'll be expecting your calls every now and then. Just be sure to take care of yourself because I won't be there to remind you of the things you shouldn't do, which you happily do to spite me (like nailbiting). Aren't you happy? you'll have several weeks of respite from my constant yakking. Just be sure to bring home some fine Jamaican sand and a drop of water from the Niagara. I'm still thinking if those sumptuous brownies will be worth your getting jailed. :D

mwah2 hny!!