I almost quit yesterday and started drafting my letter for the director of grad studies, explaining why I won't be taking the comprehensive exam on Wednesday. I said something about not being confident that I have internalized and understood all theories, concepts and processes that I need to study. How lame.

I've also sent an sms to my family: "Ma, baka mag-back out ako sa exam. Di na ako mageexam ngayon. Me dalawa ng nag-back out hehe." (Ma, I might back out of the exam. I won't be taking the exam now. Two have already backed out)

I received a reply from my father: "I'm disappointed when you show fear. So what if you fail. Trust yourself you can."

Hny also pep talked me about taking it once and for all ("we should be like the Spartans, hawoo hawoo! hawoo!), [I was pumped from the much-thought battle cry and] I realized that I really don't have anything to lose. If I fail then I failed trying which is more honourable than just quitting without giving a fight. Life is not always about certainties, you're not always on the winning end. You take the risk, stand your ground and when you lose and hurt your pride, you move on, you learn your lesson and try again. Sometimes we get so hung up with other people's perception about ourselves, we often get muddled with "what will people say?" and "what if" thoughts, we tend to miss the uncertainties and take risks which make life more exciting and fulfilling. There is a more beautiful life outside the box, beyond the norms, the gossips and the judgments. Live it.

And we do. That's why the day right after the exam we decided to fly to Palawan. :)